A Gentleman's Guide to Valentine's day

Following hot on the heals of the minefield of the festive season, and her abject disappointment at your well researched gift of the top of the range bread making machine, comes the marketing mogul’s monster that is Valentine’s Day. To help you through the pitfalls of pitiful presents and the disaster of dates ill planned, I have produced a simple guide towards Valentine bliss that will last for the whole year. Well at least until her birthday anyway.

1) Remember Valentine’s day is February 14^th

It sounds obvious, but sometimes the obvious can be missed. Without diarising the actual date when your loved one expects you to be at your most romantic, you run the very real risk being quite the opposite. We’ve all agreed to do something and then had that annoying nagging feeling we should be doing something else that day. If you miss Valentine’s Day you have no right to moan about any sort of nagging again.

2) If you are going to take her out, book it now

Restaurants see Valentine’s Day as one of their busiest day’s of the year. If a restaurateur can’t fill their bourgeois bistro on February 14^th they may as well give up, shut the doors, and go back to cooking only at Christmas. So be warned. If you are planning a romantic table, in a nice establishment anytime before 11.30 at night, but you haven’t booked it by the end of next week, you had best hope she likes 6 pints at the local, then a curry.

3) The lady loves milk tray

Most women like chocolate. Let’s face it, the multitude of posh confectionary outlets haven’t sprung up for our benefit. But at this time of year not any chocolate will do. This is where investing a little time now can pay dividends in the future. Do the food shop with her over the next few days and watch carefully where she slows in the confectionary aisle. Note the wrappers left in the car. Even go through the bin! A bit of detective work is necessary because a box full of coffee creams when that is the only chocolate she hates is on par with buying her a “gold” necklace that makes her neck go green.

4) Make it personal

She wants to know you care. Her definition of caring is thinking about her and what she needs. If you have successfully negotiated parts 1-3, congratulations! Making it personal is the icing on the cake, the diamond in the rough, and the golden seal on proceedings. There are a few ways this can be achieved. You could compose a song or a sonnet. However, as you have read this far I’m guessing this is not going to be your strong point. So think about what she likes. A token gift that is personal only to her will earn significant bonus points. The gift does not have to be expensive but make it original. Maybe getting her favourite picture of the two of you framed, or hand made tokens that she can exchange for you doing the washing up may cause her heart to skip a beat. Even just a card with a personal message may be enough. If part 1 is new to you, just the card will be more than enough.

5) Remember February 14^th lasts the whole day

You have remembered the day, booked the best table at her favourite restaurant; she has squealed with delight as she un-wrapped her favourite chocolates and swooned over your romantic personalised token of what she means to you. Do not bulldoze what you have built. Once dinner is over, now is not the time to dive into the nearest pub to get an update on the football. Stamina is the key here. You must stay in the zone until February 15^th. Make sure that whatever she wants to do, you do. And where ever she wants to go, you follow. Like her Birthday, Mothers’ day, Christmas and Sundays, Valentine’s Day is her day. You may well find that your efforts pay dividends and she has planned a surprise or two for you!

I hope my guide helps. It has been developed in conjunction with my better half. I would like to thank her for her constant feedback.